Marriage quotes and sayings

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.

Deceive not thyself by over-expecting happiness in the married estate. Remember the nightingales which sing only some months in the spring, but commonly are silent when they have hatched their eggs, as if their mirth were turned into care for their young ones.

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case of divorce and so will my wife.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.